THIRD EYE

Following wife

2010-04-06T15:59:00.002+05:30

We the whole community of ladies has an unique character.We keep family and relations above carrier . Do we lack professional ambition? I have always committed professional harakiri . Left the jobs when I was on a upward Swing. Always moved along with my husband to where ever location he is posted to.

I have enjoyed the move and meeting new people and new job. Kids enjoyed it. Since we have worked in two diagonally opposite places early in life,kids like the fact that we are together now when they are growing up.

Have I ever regretted being a following wife ? Never.

But when ever I am working I have always been a guilty mom. I missed picking up my children from their bus stops.I hated the fact that I am grungy when I come back from office and the first question I generally I ask them is "is there any home work".(how I hated myself).

We are moving again and this time I am planning to take a break. Hope I will be able to stick to it. So now its my time to be a happy house wife.

Major To Memsaab

2010-02-26T13:56:00.001+05:30

That was an interesting transition. As I am married to an officer(ARMY )from my parental unit .I was both a lady wife as well as an officer. So there was no confusion till the time I was in service.

The moment I took Voluntary retirement, people didn’t know how to address me. Mem saab or Maj saab.The ladies and army kids have an unique system of addressing the jawans of the unit. Every one is a “Bhaiyya”.
Since I have worked with them I was on first name basis. For the jawans I was still Maa’m and not Memsaab.

With my retirement from service came the duties of wifedom. I was not excused from any ladies meets .Started accumulating clothes for floral theme party, red day ,black day ………………The list is endless. Now I am expert in looking best with our mix & match wardrobe. Can make a menu which will put a 5 star chef to shame.(cooking is a different issue) .

I have started working again but I have continued to do the duties of wifedom in army because I enjoyed doing it. Now I take leave when the occasion demands. The staff in my husbands unit has now started referring to me as Memsaab rather than Major saab. So now I am ‘The Memsaab.

Stubborn Children

2010-02-26T10:28:00.001+05:30

Looking at my four year old son nobody can predict that he can put a mule to shame due to his stubbornness. I have tried every trick to soften him up. But ultimately he does what he wants do. I really cannot make out for what this kid cries for. He actually looks for excuses to cry. His eight year old sister is an angel compared to him.

We travel a lot and every time we do that I have to make sure both the kids get a window seats. This time it so happened that when we were coming down to Delhi from Jammu and there was no window seats available. The tantrum he threw was unbearable. My husband looked the other way pretending that we were not with him. I was embarrassed to the hoot. I literally wanted be invincible at that moment. He stopped howling when my co passenger gave her window seat to him.

That got me thinking. I am I a bad parent? I do not know. Since I am working and come home late in the evening, I have “guilty mom gene”. Because majority of the time in the office I just forget about the kids.

Both the kids are angels at times. They keep their room clean. Do all the daily chores. But when they stuck on something they stick to it no matter what. I have never used physical disciplining or verbal abuse towards my kids. Nor I have taken my frustrations on the kids. In fact I don’t attend many of the evening “couple only” parties because I have to leave the children at home. I really hope he grows out of his stubbornness.

Empire of Mughals

2010-02-04T13:52:00.003+05:30

A wonderful book by Alex Rutherford. I was hooked to it from the first page itself.It tells the story of Babur when he was a 12 yr old and had become the king of Ferghana to his final destination Delhi.
I was always fascinated by mughals and how a an outsider could successfully rule India for generations. This is based on Baburnama written by Babur himself.Worth reading even if you treat it as a fiction.

KG to PG Course

2009-07-01T15:56:00.003+05:30

After a long time I decided to pursue my PG in Integrated power systems. I am still to figure out how I am going to manage a job , kids , husband and PG. Today was my first day in class. Not to mention the eldest in the class. May be they will make me feel young as well. Today was my sons first day in nursery school. After watching the teacher struggling with a bunch of brats its my strong opinion that we should pay nursery teacher double that of a college lecturer. Mornings now go in a haze with all the three wanting different 'tiff ins' for school. Evenings are spend now reading children's book along with my books. I have spilled tea stains in my work books. I just hope I clear all my paper.

IPL and me

2009-04-28T16:40:00.001+05:30

I got a liking for this IPL thing . Some how I don't have to sit continually for hours to know the results.It reminded me of my days in college hostel in 94 when all the girls would sit in front of the TV watching football world cup. Romario and Bebeto were our heroes. There would be a group supporting Italy and another Brazil.
The game is much better version of cricket as far as I am concerned. Previously I used to watch only those matches that is between India and Pakistan. Not because of the love of the game.But for the adrenaline rush it gives when we are winning. If I know we are going to loose I dont watch at all . Any way 3 cheers to IPL format of cricket.

Wow ! one more gang rape

2009-04-18T17:20:00.002+05:30

Indian men(?) have proved it again. A student in TISS bombay was gang raped by her friends. As per the statement given by the victim she was given beer laced with something and after consuming that she lost her conscious. She wakes up to find what had happened and then the perpetrators takes her to nearby medical shop to buy contraceptive pill. Wow what a progress?

Surname in Malabar- Kerala

2009-03-28T17:41:00.003+05:30

I always had problems with any kind of registrations. My name as per the official documents T P Priya. Even after marriage I have not changed it. Now this gives a unique problem, where ever we have to enter name they ask for first and a surname. Recently while opening an account I was asked to expand my initials in the name. So my name as per the bank goes this way Thottolil Payyanadan Priya. Yesterday I got a call from my bank asking for thottolil. Then I had to explain to her that my name is Priya and not thottolil.

This problem is unique to south India. But now people have started using fathers/husbands name as surnames. In north they follow rule similar to the western naming system. The naming system in Malabar is unique .I am yet to come across a person with the same surname as mine (other than my cousins).

Blood in my hands

2009-03-06T11:23:00.000+05:30

“Will all great Neptune's ocean wash this blood clean from my hand?”

Lay off I have given “pink slip “to my friend in office. The guilt associated with it is tremendous. I have seen a lot of subdued and emotional faces this month. Every time this happens I just hope and wish that something better is waiting for them. You can see guilt in the face of those retained as against those who are given the “slip”. But all of them know that it is not due to their bad performance that they have left. So their self confidence level is kept in tact. Many of them have taken it as an opportunity to do higher studies. Discovering new talents.

Gandhis auction

2009-03-06T10:18:00.000+05:30

I read in news papers about the auction of articles used by Gandhi. One thing which I don't understand is that why such a hue & cry is made about the auction . The German collector had got it from Gandhis grand daughter Gita. If she can make money on that why can't he. If we desperately want the "national heritage" back spent some money and get it back. Tomorrow we will ask the queen of England to give "Kohinoor"back.

Late news: Our home grown king Mallaya has bought the auctioned items. He will be donating them to the Indian Govt.

Debit card fraud

2009-02-28T16:22:00.000+05:30

My HDFC debit card was stolen from my car which was parked in one of our own institutions. I did not realize that the wallet was missing from my handbag till the time the Bank called me up 45 minutes later to confirm a transaction. Within 30 minutes time 16000/- gone. Much more could have gone had it not been detected by HDFC bank that the card is being misused. Jai ho HDFC.

Coming back to the story. The formal FIR was launched at the nearest police station. I called up and got the details of all the 4 transactions that have happened. All in petrol pumps. Located the address and phone number of the two petrol pumps. Unfortunately nobody was picking up the phone. So no progress was made till evening.

Morning again I rang up both the numbers confirmed the transactions and they agreed to give details personally. First I reached the second petrol pump where last two transactions had taken place. He gave a cooked up story of two white cars being topped up with fuel. So not much of progress. The second petrol pump where the first and second transaction had taken place had noted the number of the vehicle. He had filled up his vehicle and also made arrangement with the attendant to swipe the card for particular amount and collected the cash and paid some commission to the attendant. The only mistake he had made was that the attendant had noted the bike number and the college uniform he was wearing. Went to the particular institute and traced the vehicle and the owner. The student without even blinking an eye agreed to the misuse of debit card and agreed to give the cash back.

I was surprised to see the look on the young students face. He had no guilt of doing it. This incident happened in Nagpur and the names of the shops are Lalit Automobiles and Om auto service station. The surprising fact was that the shop keepers also are involved in the crime.

Why do we hate HR

2009-02-20T13:25:00.000+05:30

It is one of my favorite articles written about HR by Keith H Hammonds. In fact this article has prompted me to write about HR. Every time some one publishes findings and write about the” Strategic “role that HR has in the organization has me thinking. Are we sidelining the important role of HR in the organization? Last week I had one girl coming to my office to take guidance in choosing the specialization for MBA for her friend. She told me he is not good in Math’s and studies in total so he wants to have a career in HR. Is this the criteria of choosing a career or Is HR a parking field for people who don’t do well in other fields? I think we need to examine this in detail.

Just look at the scenario of HR in your organization. Has it become a tool for just maintaining discipline and salary, completely isolated from the rest of the organization? In my view a smile should come on any employee’s face of an employee when he sees some one from HR. Some of the process in HR is so regulated it is done auto mode in due time without much effort. So what is the extra thing that requires the specific qualification? I have seen the best man mangers who are not qualified even to attend the interview for HR manager.
Is the sidelining of HR due to the fact because we don’t use Jargons to confuse people as technocrats and finance do or is it because we do not directly contribute to the company coffers. A lot of thinking to do and “miles to go before I sleep

Valentines day and "pink chaddi"

2009-02-14T10:49:00.000+05:30

Nice idea to protest. I love the spunk of the girls who started it. Hope all the pubs are full today. In India you can do any thing by saying you are protecting culture. What culture you are talking about/ beating women? Yaa may be they are doing that in their house. I am sure this will also have its natural death. The culprits will go scot free to repeat the act again at some other place and some other time. What else can happen? Raj Thakre could get away with assaulting north Indians in Mumbai. Here I would like list some event which came into focus and then died its own death.

Mumbai attack on North Indians by Shiv sena
Mayawati’s disappropriate assets case.
Taj corridor of Up govt
Jayalaltha’s disappropriate assets case.
Ex minister from kerala and sexual harassment case against him by an IAS official.
Kanchi seer and the murder accusation against him.
Present position with regard to the case “RAM SETHU “project.
Mangalore pub incident.
Rape case involving Education Minister Atanasio Monserratte's son Rohit
Farmers suicides in maharashtra and Andhra pradesh .
False Encounter killings in Gujrat involving top police officers
Rizwanur Rehman murder case in culcutta.
BMW hit and run case.
Present position of best bakery case.
J& K sex scandal involving the principal secretary
Arushi murder case

My daughter -Anandita

2009-02-09T12:21:00.000+05:30

My Daughter- Anandita

I was prompted to write this after an advt (you know for what) which I saw when I was taking my baby daughter to Jammu to meet my in laws.
This is what it was
It is better to pay 500 Rs. now than 50,000 Rs. later
(in dowry for the girl child at marriage)
Even after 6 years it still echoes in my thoughts. My daughter is my first born. I have never waited for anyone’s arrival than hers. She is the one who made me a complete woman. It does sound a little clichéd but it is true. My husband whom I have never seen around the company of children before took to her like a fish to water. It is because of this special bond which they share that I decided to quit a good career and shift to the location of his posting.
After she was born I was more observant and cautious of the comments which others make of girl child. What I have observed is that for centuries we are biased towards the male child. I have seen it in urban educated families. One of the families I know was going for ultra sound scan when she was pregnant for the third time. I asked what you will do after you find out about the sex of the fetus. She said” if it is a boy I will keep it otherwise MTP”. I was shocked, such educated people .so much for their education.
People comment when they see a couple with two boys “you are lucky no tension at all”. Couple with two girls are unlucky they have to educate their girls and also save for dowry.
Our kids are our own whether it’s a boy or girl. We as parents can make a difference. Let our girls be born.

What's in a name

2009-02-05T14:27:00.000+05:30

What’s in a name?

I always firmly believed the name you carry definitely has an impact on the person. My name is “Priya” which means “dear”. Since it is a short name I was always called by that name. Only my Father called me by my nickname ie “Kudu”. How I got that name is because I was found of the sweet “laddu” and I could not pronounce it properly and used to say it as kudu. In college, friends called me as “simple pendulum” because of the swing in my walk. Some very close friends called me as “Kalyani”( a popular beer in Kerala).

My Husbands name is “Sanjay” which means “Triumphant”. Only I call him by that name now. His family calls him “sanju” and his fiends call him as………

When my daughter was born I wanted her to have name which actually represents her. So after countless arguments with my husband I named her “Anandita” which means joyful or the one who brings happiness. My husband did not agree with it so he called her as “Anoushka” ( I do not know what it means). But we called her as “Anna” till my son was born. When he was old enough to talk he modified the name Anoushka since he could not pronounce it and called her as” Nukka”. Now she is Nukka to all. So there goes the original name.

My sons name is Bhaawick. The pandit suggested that the name should start with ‘B’ so we called him Bhaawick which means unknown. He is now called as “bhow”. I don’t know till what time he will tolerate that nick name. he’s 3 now.

Men & Tears

2009-02-02T15:07:00.001+05:30

Yesterday was Sunday so I had the time to watch the finals of Australian open . I will not comment upon the match . But what captivated me was the tears of Federer. Three years earlier also he had cried at the same location. The only difference this time was it was due to sadness and not joy.
My husband was very upset with his very public display of emotions. He kept on saying on saying how could you cry publicly. But I was happy though I can't exactly tell the reason . The best man won. Nadal from the beginning of the match had victory written all over him.More than the match I want to comment on Men and tears.

I have two men in my life. My husband and my 3 year old son. My son is not yet aware of the fact that men don't cry in public , so he howls whenever and wherever he feels like. My husband though he pretends he doesn't shed tears cries even while watching movies. I have caught him crying while watching "Rang de Basanti". He holds the tears in his eyes by some how enlarging his eyes. The dam bursts when it is too much to control .
I am not a feminist . But I value men's tears. I don't follow the rule of "Strong silent type"men are ideal. Rather I would consider him as a defective piece. I have been in the army long enough to see strong men shedding real tears. For long women were considered to be masters to this particular art. But the new generation is not reluctant to show their emotions. So an era of gender free tears has dawned.

Famine

2009-01-24T10:14:00.000+05:30

Click to enlarge
I saw this picture when I was browsing in the net. After that I desided I will never waste food what ever be the taste of it. And how previlaged I am and thank god for it.

Davinci Code

2009-01-20T14:35:00.000+05:30

Leonardo Davinci -MonaLisa

Davinci code- I recently reread the book and still I could not keep the book down after reading through the first few pages .Unfortunately I have not seen the movie based on the book. This book made me look at the painting from a different angle. Earlier I had not noticed in detail what is there in the back ground or the difference in levels or the bridge in the painting.

I didn’t know any thing about Holi Grail before I read the book. Now after I read it and checked on the painting “The Last supper”. The Apostle John actually has feminine looks and is wearing inverted colour dress than that of jesus (Red & Blue) .There is a clear “V” between both of them. And there is no holi gail in the painting

Before this one the stories which gave different version of history and I actually believed that it must have happened that way was a “Malayalam” movie by name “Oru vadakan veeragatha”. Then again the book on Taj Mahal and its history by Mr Oak. Here he says Taj as captured and converted by Shahjahan.

Riding the Tiger

2009-01-09T12:48:00.000+05:30

Riding the Tiger

What a shame to the name of the organization.” Satyam” becoming “Asatyam”. Unfortunately I also bought some shares of the company thinking that this is not going to fall. Falsifying the financial statement of a company listed in the stock market should be treated at par with a criminal offence. You are playing with some else money.

It is not possible that the audit firm did not get the whim of the gaping holes in the system. All are equal partners in the crime. Is the end of India’s IT bubble? Hope it is not .And on top of it the person who is responsible for it Mr Ramalingam is absconding. Nobody knows where he is? This happens only in India. I just hope they ban the Audit firm.
What about the employees .In this time of recession will they be able to find another one. I just hope that they will. And also hope this episode will not create a chain reaction of sort and many more skeletons come tumbling out of cupboard

A year gone by

2009-01-02T14:13:00.001+05:30

So much happened in the year I don’t know what to comment upon. It brought to us despair and hope. The major events are

Ø The economic down fall –Directly or indirectly it has affected all. But it has been a blessing in disguise for some. The fuel prices have come down. Realty sector have started looking “Real”.
Ø The Mumbai terror attack- It brought to us the gaping holes in the system. The unprepared ness was visible. For a change the people were not ready to accept it.
Ø Successful Chandrayan launch. India’s first unmanned mission to moon.
Ø Nano is launched. TATAs one lakh car.
Ø US to get the First African American President.
Ø India gets a gold medal at Olympics.

I spent the exact time of the beginning of New Year running after my son who suddenly decided that he needs to dance on the adult dance floor rather than the children’s area .And rest of the evening (night) was spend in getting the two kids to sit at a table and have their dinner. By the time things wound up it was 2 ‘O’ clock. So now I know the whole year ahead is going to be this way.

As usual I also have made some resolutions. This year again it is to loose some weight. Every year I decide the same and at the end of it the” net gain” is more than what was expected. I wish my savings portfolio follow my weight route. I will definitely improve my cooking. After my sisters visit to our place my husband has not stopped nagging about my cooking capabilities. He now doesn’t listen to my excuse that since I am working I don’t have time for trying out new dishes. He says your sis is also working but she manages to do it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Third Eye

2008-12-17T17:27:00.000+05:30

I was always interested in finding out whether any truth or connection exists between our 'puranas' and our present century. The story of Lord shiva and his third eye is known to all. It is a known fact that he opens his third eye to destroy evil. "Tryambaka Dev " that is what he is known as.
There is story about how he got his third eye. It is said that one day he was meditating and his wife Parvati came from behind and closed his eyes. With that the whole universe plunged into darkness in order bring back the The Lord Made a third eye.
The opening of the third eye is supposed to destroy evil.It is opened only when he is angry.
Now a days there is a scientific explanation for the third eye.It is supposed to be the partially dormant pineal glands in the brain. This pineal glands are partially responsible for dreams & hallucinations. It is also used as a metaphor for enlightenment.
So it is time now for all of us to open our third eye

Father

2008-12-15T17:33:00.001+05:30

For MY FATHER
I have always wanted to hear that I am more special than my siblings from my father. But all I heard was “you are my stepini tyre”. This was because I have an elder sister and a younger brother. So with out me also the family was complete. Now it is more than14 years since we lost him. I was in college; my sister just completed her PG, and brother was in 12th. How these years passed with its ups and downs in our life, I don’t know. We just managed to come out unscathed may be because of the good base that he gave us.

He was very stingy as far as showing emotions. Only a very few occasions I saw tears in his eyes. One incident I clearly remember I was studying in the Engineering college and staying in hostel. My brother along with father had come to give some entrance exam which he could not clear. Father was very disturbed by this as my brother was not very good at academics and out of the blue asked me to help him out in the future. Now I want him to know that he is doing well for him self .
As an individual he was doing well for himself. He lost his parents early in life and took care of his siblings and got his sisters married well and was a parent figure to them. May be it was his destiny to complete that responsibility. I have never heard him complain why this had happened to him.
I always thought the way you left us was unfair and always asked god why this should happen to us. I still remember the phone call to my hostel, though they did not tell me what has happened I knew it was all over. Massive cardiac arrest that is what they said. And when I saw the body it was not the way I wanted to remember you. I wish I had not seen it that way.

Now I want to talk to you and see our children and husbands. I just wish I am not late in telling you this. I remembered you every time something good happened in my life, my marriage, and motherhood. Only those who lost their loved ones understand why I still get tears when I think of him. I think you would have been proud of your children today as all the three of us are doing well for ourselves.

I always wonder why you never lived to see good things happening to us. I sometimes think God was unfair to you. You never started a day without praying to God. But then sometimes I think, you never asked God for good things for yourself. I am sure you asked God to take care of your family, which he did fulfill.

So “Achan” you can take a good rest now.

Reality Shows

2008-12-15T17:18:00.000+05:30

I like watching some of the realty shows. But now a days every channel has one in some form or other. People quarreling with one another to raise TRP rating of the channel. Some of them use so abusive language that you can only hear 'beeps'. Do we have any norms for reality shows ? I don't think so.
I hate when see small kids participating and getting eliminated. Imagine the pain the kid must be going through . It is bound to stay with them for ever. It is high time we make some rules for these shows. In some ways the parents are also to blame for pushing the child to participate. How can a few celebrities sitting their judge a kid for a 3minute performance and say whether he/she is bad or good.

Kids talk

2008-12-15T13:41:00.000+05:30

Today my daughter came back from school with a big news. One of the boys in her class kissed her friends. The very fact that she thought that it was an issue surprised me. She is 7 yrs old. I think the generation gap is catching up on me. I actually did not know what to tell her. I now know this generation is growing up faster than we were.
I can see smile on her face when she sees certain scenes in TV. She has whole lots of doubts now. She knows now how get things done from me. She has started using her younger brother (he is 3 yrs) as a shield. And he is learning it from her. The fashion awareness the kids have is amazing. I am actually dreading the day when my daughter will tell me I am outdated. In some way I like it. They are much more independent than we were during our times. It may be because of the fact that both the parents are working and to certain extent they have to manage them selves

I just don't under stand what has caused our children to grow up so fast. Is it the visual media ? They are actually addicted to cartoon channels. My son knows the names of all the cartoon characters he watches. But as a mother of two small kids now I am careful of the contents of the programme they watch. Todays generation is actually progrmmed to be a step ahead of us and I am proud of them.