Father

For MY FATHER
I have always wanted to hear that I am more special than my siblings from my father. But all I heard was “you are my stepini tyre”. This was because I have an elder sister and a younger brother. So with out me also the family was complete. Now it is more than14 years since we lost him. I was in college; my sister just completed her PG, and brother was in 12th. How these years passed with its ups and downs in our life, I don’t know. We just managed to come out unscathed may be because of the good base that he gave us.

He was very stingy as far as showing emotions. Only a very few occasions I saw tears in his eyes. One incident I clearly remember I was studying in the Engineering college and staying in hostel. My brother along with father had come to give some entrance exam which he could not clear. Father was very disturbed by this as my brother was not very good at academics and out of the blue asked me to help him out in the future. Now I want him to know that he is doing well for him self .
As an individual he was doing well for himself. He lost his parents early in life and took care of his siblings and got his sisters married well and was a parent figure to them. May be it was his destiny to complete that responsibility. I have never heard him complain why this had happened to him.
I always thought the way you left us was unfair and always asked god why this should happen to us. I still remember the phone call to my hostel, though they did not tell me what has happened I knew it was all over. Massive cardiac arrest that is what they said. And when I saw the body it was not the way I wanted to remember you. I wish I had not seen it that way.

Now I want to talk to you and see our children and husbands. I just wish I am not late in telling you this. I remembered you every time something good happened in my life, my marriage, and motherhood. Only those who lost their loved ones understand why I still get tears when I think of him. I think you would have been proud of your children today as all the three of us are doing well for ourselves.

I always wonder why you never lived to see good things happening to us. I sometimes think God was unfair to you. You never started a day without praying to God. But then sometimes I think, you never asked God for good things for yourself. I am sure you asked God to take care of your family, which he did fulfill.

So “Achan” you can take a good rest now.